By: Peter V. Milo
HARTFORD (CBS Hartford) — It’s not a good time to be a chicken as 1.25 billion chicken wings will be eaten for the Super Bowl according to a report by the National Chicken Council.
With an average of 52 calories per wing, more than 65 billion calories of chicken wing goodness will be consumed.
Because Americans are so health conscious (right guys?), we need to find ways to burn that off. Luckily, we do have several options at our disposal.
We could try walking. If a 200-pound person walks one mile, they would burn about 120 calories. So to burn off 1.25 billion wings, we would need to walk about 550 million miles. That would be about 1,133 round trips to the moon.
Eventually, that would get dull, so we could do eight laps to Mars and back. But remember, Mars is at its closest at 33,926,867 miles.
But walking isn’t the most strenuous of exercises. There are jumping jacks which burns 763 calories per hour. So we would need to do about 85 million consecutive hours worth of jumping jacks, which would be about 9,752 years.
Even Michael Phelps, who reportedly eats 12,000 calories a day, would have a hard time burning through that many wings. It would take him about 5 million days to get through all 65 billion calories.
But some of you aren’t Olympians and aren’t into leaving the house. So another option is burning it off in your sleep.
A 200-pound person burns about 78 calories per hour when they’re asleep. But if they’re going to go this route, hopefully they have a comfy bed because they’ll be taking a 94,000-year nap.
Although walking to the moon over 1,000 times, or doing 9,000 consecutive years of jumping jacks doesn’t sound like fun, it’s probably a lot more fun compared to what the chicken had.
So America, start stretching.