CBS Local – This week’s episode of “Survivor: Heroes v. Healers v. Hustlers”  went up in flames, literally, especially for this week’s castoff – Lauren Rimmer. She watched part of her hidden immunity idol get thrown in the fire by a fellow tribe mate. Here’s her unique perspective (as told to CBS Local’s Adam Bloom) on that exact moment in the show, as well as how it really feels to be part of the “loved ones challenge”.

SB: The first thing you know we’re going to talk about is that shell. There was a lot of emotion on your face when Dr. Mike tossed it into the fire. I would love to know what was going through your head when you knew he was doing it and the actual shock of going into the fire.

L: Well, my expression was “I am screwed and I can’t believe he just did that.” I was dumbfounded – I couldn’t believe that he threw it in the fire. I asked him several times why he did that and he’s telling me he did it because he wanted to. He’s always wanted to do that. But why? I think now – why didn’t I go pick it out of the fire and attempt to use it? I was just so shocked that he even did that and with all the commotion I just was in shock.

AB: It would have been an incredible TV moment had you gotten in that fire after the shell. I’m glad you didn’t do it from a safety perspective.

L: If I had thought about it – I totally would have gone and got it. I really have kicked myself in the tail for not even thinking about it because throughout my life I have to think about it two or three times before I even do it. I can’t believe I didn’t think about going and getting it because I would have done it in a heartbeat.

SB: The Tribal Council was something else – emotional and very explosive. Did you think that your alliance would implode like that and so quickly and so publicly?

L: No I didn’t. I really felt like Devin and Ashley were the only two I had after Dr. Mike threw the idol. I would have never guessed they would have all stuck with voting with Ben, but none of us knew Ben had an idol or I felt like we would have split the votes. So it is odd how it worked out.

AB: And it was an emotional show – we got to see a lot of raw emotion when the loved ones visited as well. What’s it like to be a part of that in real life?

L: It was wonderful being a part of it. I promised my sister. It was a lifetime experience for her and I promised her that I would get her there. And I did just to have her out there and granted we didn’t get to do a challenge together – that would have topped everything off for her to have that experience. It is very emotional because you have no contact with anyone for so long and then to see somebody that you love that comes out there and see you in the shape that you’re in, it’s very emotional. I would have never thought that I would have been like that but again you don’t know until you’re standing there and you experience everything that you’ve experienced.

SB: Is there anything that you would have changed about your game play or done differently?

L: There’s always things that you could have done differently. For me, I would have totally not given Mike the other part of the idol. At tribal that night, all I had to do was play my second advantage and vote Chrissy twice then it would have been one vote for me and two for Chrissy. Those are two main things that I regret and it cost me the game. I could have made it at least one more night but “shoulda, woulda, coulda.” I kick myself in the butt all the time for it.

AB: Would you play the game again if you had the opportunity?

L: I would definitely play again just to go back and try to do things differently and see if I can have a better game. I know I could have a better game – I feel like I’ve done really well considering I’m not socially out there as much as these people are. To go out there and everybody’s like, “You look so mad. You didn’t look happy then all of a sudden you’re grinning.” I’m always laughing and I’m always grinning. To go back and experience it again to try to accomplish being in the 1-2-3 would be really awesome.

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