TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: Ferris Bueller Vs. Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods announced he was not going to be able to participate in the U.S. Open. While we get he is injured – the fact he is taken the U.S. Open off has become a big news story. Which made us think – what would a day off with Tiger Woods look like?  Would it be better than taking the day off with Ferris Bueller?  Lets go to the tape.

View Comments
Ferris Bueller
Tiger Woods
ferris
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Start To The Day
Lots of pre game – McGyvering entire room followed by licking palms and rewiring doorbell.
Winner Back Massage followed by counting money.
Eating Out
Winner Fine Dining - Chez Quis and its staff await your arrival.
Tiger's notorious for not leaving good tips – you'll pay and feel guilty about it.
Soaking in Culture
Winner Fine museums, sports events, a possible parade.
No chance of going to any public places.
Possible Third Wheel
Sloane Petterson or Cameron Frye – either would be a bonus.
Winner Lindsey Vonn
Getting Around Town
Winner Priceless 1961 Ferrari 250GT – less than 100 were made.
Used Buick with a busted rear window.
Chances of Getting Caught
Winner Just leave a key under the backdoor mat and we'll be fine.
Yeah – we won't go there.

The Winner Is

ferris
Winner Ferris Bueller
4 out of 6

Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Ferris is the king of taking the day off and there is no doubt he is the right choice. Of course the question isn't what are you going to do. The question is what aren't you going to do?

View Comments

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. 531270539BW00073_Divisional ALCS - Baltimore Orioles v Kansas City Royals - Game Four
    Worse Playoff Exit: Ravens Or Orioles?

    The Ravens & the Orioles took their seasons to their respective tournaments & had Baltimore sports fans looking for the big prize in both sports. Unfortunately both teams came up short.

  2. Members of the New England Patriots celebrate with the Vince Lombardi Trophy after defeating the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 in Super Bowl XLIX. Recording artist Katy Perry performs onstage during the Pepsi Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Show.
    Was Super Bowl XLIX Or Katy Perry’s Halftime Show More Exciting?

    I don’t usually watch Super Bowl halftime shows. But when I do, it has Katy Perry. How did her performance measure up to the game?

  3. New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick talks to the media during a press conference SEATTLE, WA - JANUARY 19: Running back Marshawn Lynch #24 of the Seattle Seahawks on the field before taking on the San Francisco 49ers in the 2014 NFC Championship at CenturyLink Field on January 19, 2014 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images)
    Worst Media Interview: Belichick Vs. Lynch

    Bill Belichick and Marshawn Lynch have been known to give interesting answers during media interviews. We take a look at who gives the worst interview between the two.

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 7,697 other followers