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TALE OF THE TAPE

Which Is More Satisfying On Thanksgiving Day? NFL Football Vs. Thanksgiving Pie

NFL Football
Thanksgiving Pie
(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
(Credit: Frederic J. Brown/AFP/Getty Images)
Taste
…pain? Does football taste like pain? Let’s go with that.
Winner Sweet and crusty (which, incidentally was my nickname in high school). Even better with whipped cream!
Able To Be Enjoyed At 1 PM?
Winner Yep! The games start rolling at 12:30 PM EST.
Nope. You’ll get your hand slapped. Pie is for AFTER turkey, dummy!
How Quickly Does It Make Your Uncle Fall Asleep?
Winner It takes mere nanoseconds.
Winner Instantaneously.
Able To Win You Money (If Gambling Wasn’t Frowned Upon)?
Winner Yep!...hypothetically.
If that becomes a thing, I don’t want to know the unpleasant future where people gamble on pie.
Causes Instant Shame and Regret?
Winner nnnnNNNNOPE!
Every time.

The Winner Is

Winner NFL Football
4 out of 5

There you have it. With a score of 4-2, football remains the Thanksgiving champion we all deserve.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

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