Which Deal Is Worse: Buffalo Bills Sale Or A Craigslist Ripoff?

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Photo Credit: Gabriel Bouys/AFP/Getty Images
  • Sales Pitch
    Classic franchise with a history of success (4 AFC Championships!) looking for caring owner to keep team close to home. Bon Jovi need not apply.
    Gently used 1974 Pontiac Firebird looking for caring owner/car enthusiast to keep up maintenance. A real beaut! Bon Jovi need not apply.
  • The Truth
    The team’s best years are 20 years behind them, and they’re under constant threat to be shipped off to Canada.
    “I’ll need you to wire over the funds before I can complete the sale of the car. It’s a weird DMV thing, you know?”
  • Return on Investment
    Despite not being terribly successful, they have a loyal, lovable fanbase.
    Literally 0%.
  • Realization that they've been had
    Depends -- who does Buffalo play in week 3?
    Once the seller stops returning emails. Give it 10 days.
  • Better Investment
    Gold? Soy? The stock market?
    The Buffalo Bills.
RESULTS
D’aw, there you have it! The NFL’s lovable dopes are actually a mildly safer investment than a fake 1974 Pontiac Firebird on Craigslist.