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TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: College Station Vs. Cleveland

With Johnny Football leaving the hometown comfort of Texas A & M to join the Browns in the NFL we’re wondering which city is a better spot for Manziel to play in: College Station or Cleveland? Let’s take a look at the differences.

College Station
Cleveland
Sam Houston State v Texas A&M
Miami Dolphins v Cleveland Browns
Weather Conditions
Winner Average Temp 69 degrees
Average Temp 49 degrees
Fan Base
Winner Thousands of nubile coeds called “Aggies” screaming Johnny’s name, making eyes at him and texting him their phone numbers.
Thousands of zaftig middle aged men called the “Dawg Pound” screaming Johnny’s name making foul hand gestures at him and texting him death threats after a loss.
Support Team
Yell Leaders: a bunch of elected male nerds who try to motivate the fans with synchronized cheers.
Winner Cheerleaders: a bunch of scantily clad women who try to motivate the fans with sex appeal.
Nickname
Winner Home of the 12th Man
The Mistake On The Lake
Extracurricular Activities
George Bush Presidential Library and Museum
Winner Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and A Christmas Story House
Stadium Name
Winner Kyle Field: The House That Johnny Built? (pending)
First Energy Stadium

The Winner Is

Sam Houston State v Texas A&M
Winner College Station
4 out of 6

This one’s a no brainer. Despite the lack of cheerleaders (why TAMU, why?) it’s quite obvious Johnny Manziel belongs in South Texas. I mean he does have the nubile coeds after all. Heck, they may even name the stadium after him. It will be fun to watch, however, if Johnny Football can handle the frigid temps and mentality of the Midwest.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

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    Tale Of The Tape: Baltimore Ravens At New Orleans Saints

    The Ravens are dependent on Joe Flacco to play his best football down the stretch if they are going to make a run at the AFC North title. Flacco is certainly capable of getting hot and putting big numbers up on the scoreboard.

  2. (Photo by Alan Crowhurst/Getty Images) (Photo by Michael Heiman/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Dallas Cowboys At New York Giants

    The Cowboys have been one of the bigger surprises in the league this year, but their sharp start could go to waste if they can’t come through in games like this.

  3. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images) (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Washington Redskins At San Francisco 49ers

    The Redskins pulled off one of the most disappointing performances of the season as they were coming off a bye week and had the lowly Tampa Bay Bucs at FedEx Field and they couldn’t even stay close.

See All Tales of the Tape
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